I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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