Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
