My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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