and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize