I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
