my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
