Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
