they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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