Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
