"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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