I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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