Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
