you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
