So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
