Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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