I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
