I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
