smell my finger.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
