Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
