You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
