i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
