I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
