you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
