She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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