I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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