I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
