either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize