Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
