This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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