im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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