I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
