He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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