i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
