We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
