Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
