listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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