I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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