have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
