Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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