I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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