I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
no, he came in my armpit
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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