my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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