if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
As shirtless as possible
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
