waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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