How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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