Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Houston, we have a squirter
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
