I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
