I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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