I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
