We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
