Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
