There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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