I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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