Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
