Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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