Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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