Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
