Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
