that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
